


красивая

by cxtte_p



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, No Major Character Death, Red Room (Marvel), SHIELD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 07:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17803247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxtte_p/pseuds/cxtte_p
Summary: Natasha loved y/n more than anything. She always had. Even in the darkest times. She knew it was mutual. Y/n had even said she thought they were soulmates.But she was taken from her a long time ago. And she would do anything to bring the love of her life back.





	красивая

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing something like this and english is not my first language, please excuse any grammatical mistakes.
> 
> (Got the Russian stuff from Google)
> 
> Красивая= beautiful  
>  Я найду тебя, любовь= I will find you, love

She didn't know what she was looking for. she knew she wouldn't find the clues she was looking for here. the only thing she could get from this place was memories and the nostalgia and the homesick feeling in her chest.

She found herself in an old safehouse, surrounded by what once had been the picture of complete safety. But those days were over. Left behind. In a corner so hidden from her own mind that she just couldn't bring herself to remember them.

How could she? After all, wasn't it all her fault? She felt alone. Correction; she _was_  alone. Alone, scared, sad, longing for something and someone she had lost so far back.

In the red room they taught her different. Madame told her love was for children; how foolish of her to not listen to her, she had been the one to teach her everything she knew after all,  _why would she be wrong about this?_

The problem wasn't what she did at the time. No. She didn't regret falling in love. She regretted losing the only person who had ever, really,  _truly_  loved her. She didn't have a family, she never knew her parents and the only other relative she had was her grandmother. Yes, she was alive. After some years in the red room, curiosity got to her. She deserved to know where she came from anyway.

She could never bring herself to visit her. Not even after she joined shield. She did terrible things; how could she look her in the eye? What would she even say?

Madame always said she had no place in the world, that her life would just be to serve her country and the people who made her what she is. No. That's not right. Who she  _was._

Natasha wasn't what they made her anymore, or at least y/n told her so. 

Natasha would trust her with anything; her life, her heart, everything. And she had.

For a while they had had the most amazing time. Being able to stay safe in each other's arms, away from the pain that was the red room; away from the memories and the lives of the many girls like them they couldn't save. How happy they had been.

 _Girls._  They had been only girls when they first met. Of course, it had been in the red room, everybody had to grow up way too fast in that damn place. It was just the way it was.

They first introduced them when they were seven. They were told to spar. Ten minutes on the clock and still none of them could bring the other down. At the time, they didn't know they were the best there was. They were put up against each other to see which one was truly worth their time.

When the years passed, they came to realise that. They realised why and how it was that the universe decided to bring them together. They were soulmates after all. Or so she said.

y/n always said that.

_They were seventeen the first time it happened._

_They were laying in bed, staring at the ceiling side by side. None of them said anything._

_It was a successful mission, both of them knew it. But they couldn't help but feel in the back of their minds these little voices telling them how there was something wrong about what they were doing._

_It didn't matter, their handlers would be thrilled. They always were._

_"We should head back first thing in the morning, we can blame staying the night here on the snow."_

_Natalia turned to look at her and couldn't help but think how much she just wished she_ _could stay here forever._

_Of course, y/n didn't know that; to her, Natalia was just her mission partner, she wasn't even a friend. They were not made for that._

_But god. When y/n looked back at her with those amazing e/c eyes, she couldn't help but get lost in them; how she wished they could just be normal teenagers, with normal lives; not soon-to-be-graduated-red-room-assasins. If they were normal, they could be friends, and if they were normal, Natalia could have been maybe just brave enough to tell her how she felt. But no._ _If_ _there was one thing Natalia Romanova was scared of, was doing that._

_"You good, Romanova?"_

_She didn't realise she had been staring._

_So after seeing the slightest hint of worry in her partner's eyes, she got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. Washed her face and took a deep breath._

_She knew she would cry. Just not now. Later. When she was alone and no one but her knew._

_She knew she could never have the normal life she wanted. That chance was taken from her a long time ago and the things she had done -what both of them had done- were not simple to take back. If they could even do that._

So here she was now, in the same safehouse they used after most of their missions.

After the red room fell -after she brought it down- the safehouse was abandoned, no one knew about it. It was not so bad. It held many memories, good and bad. But all of them were with y/n. And no matter what happened in those memories, she always turned them into good ones. All but one.

_Y/n tucked one of her curls behind her ear, letting her hand linger on Nat's cheek for a moment._

_Nat. She liked it. Her friend had given her a nickname._

_It came out of nowhere. It just felt unnatural to call someone you spend the majority of your time with only by their last name. And Nat loved it._

_She called her Nat. And when she received only a confused look back, she apologized and put on an indifferent face. One the redhead next to her knew all too well._

_"You don't have to_ _apologize, you know?"_

_It was her turn to see the confusion._

_"I just thought... Nothing. It won't happen again. We can't be friends."_

_And for the first time in her life, Nat knew she wasn't taking_ _madame's_ _order. She wanted to be friends, hell, she wanted so much more than that._

She should have known better. 

That was the moment when her life took a turn. One small moment of vulnerability had led to so many more of them. 

They weren't made for this. They both knew it. But they would be damned if they let others define their fate.

They became friends. They would help each other out when needed and make sure they were safe in missions. Making sure it was their secret.

In time lingering touches became more common. Then it was comfort.

The comfort in knowing they would patch each other up after a mission.

The comfort of knowing they got out alive.

The comfort of having someone who cared for them as much as they did.

She never thought it would turn into a love as deep as the ocean and as strong as their determination to be together.

_Their confession came when she was eighteen._

_Y/n had just gotten out of the shower and changed into her oversized t-shirt. She was drying her hair with a towel one moment and the other she was holding Nat._

_She almost died that day. It had been one of their toughest missions so far. Infiltraiting a reunion of Russia's richest aristocrats, taking out one of many red room's enemies and blowing up the place._

_Y/n had almost died._

_Nat couldn't stop thinking about it. She should have protected her. It was pure luck she got out of there. She could have lost her._

_She had never been more terrified. Not the first time she got punished. Not the first time she killed._

_So one moment she's looking at her from the other side of the room and the next one she's in her arms. Holding onto her like a lifeline._

_Y/n understood. She would have felt the same way if it had been Nat. She loved her._

_So when they pull away they stare into each other's eyes. And everything feels like it's slowly falling into place._

_Damn the consequences. They would think about them tomorrow._

The kiss they shared that night had been the first of many.

It was the moment they promised to themselves to never give up on the other. And they promised to each other to always be together. And when they couldn't, to fight. So that one day, they might find their place in the world. Together.

That moment kept playing in Natasha's mind.

She was sitting by the window, cleaning her gun.

It had been seven years since that moment.

They had joined SHIELD together. 

Natasha didn't think she could have a life with anyone. She was an assassin. It took her a long time to actually feel comfortable with the idea of it. But when it came to y/n, it felt like nothing had ever been easier.

They were both from the same world. They grew up together and proved everyone who thought they could control and manipulate them wrong. They had made them into weapons and never thought how dangerous that could be.

But it all changed when y/n got taken away from her.

Natasha had spent the last two years looking for her. Following every lead she could get, with the hope that one day she could have her lover back. Alive.  _Safe._

They made a promise. She was not about to break it.

So she decided to stop thinking about the past and focus on her objective.

She grabbed her glass from the table, downed the last of her drink and loaded her gun.

She made a quiet promise. _Я найду тебя, любовь_.

She heard footsteps getting closer and her friend put a hand on her shoulder.

"Ready?" Clint smiled down at her.

"Ready."


End file.
